Recently I read that actor J. G. Hertzler, who played General Martok on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, is going to run for Congress in New York. Apparently he plans to campaign in character as Mark Twain.
That’s fine if you’re into classics (I’m not), but I’d really like to see him campaign as General Martok. Hey, we already have a reality show host for president, why not a Klingon in Congress? I’m sure we can find a Klingon language translator at the UN, right? Plus he might come in handy if the reality show host gets us into World War 3. Better yet, Martok might be able to do what the rest of Congress can’t—get rid of the reality show host. All he has to do is say, “Mr. President, your tiny little hands can’t handle holding the Sword of Kahless,” and watch that guy implode in the biggest Twitterstorm ever.
This got me thinking about other fictional characters I’d like to see in Congress. (Yes, I know Hertzler isn’t really Martok, but he isn’t really Twain either, so let’s just go with it.)
- Quark. You have to admit, Congress would be the perfect place for him! The lobbying, the bribes, the backstabbing, the pettiness, the back room deals…whoa, wait a minute. Holy shit, I think Congress has been infiltrated by the Ferengi! I always thought that Ryan guy had weirdly large ears—and don’t even get me started on all the big heads in Congress…
- Q. He doesn’t need to be in Congress all the time, he just needs to show up whenever things there get boring. Then he can wittily tell them all how boring and predictable they are.
- The Grand Nagus. Wait, never mind, he’s definitely already there…
- Elim Garak. Not so hung up on money, but he’s a master at lies, deceit, half-truths….
- Spock. JUST KIDDING! Clearly Congress is no place for someone logical.
- Captain Janeway. If she can use the war between Species 8472 and the Borg to her advantage, maybe she can do something with the squabbling morons in Congress. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just send them all to the Delta Quadrant…
How about you? What fictional character would you like to see in Congress and why?